Reaching way back into my collection of old questions and answers …
Question – “I and my wife have recently turn our lives over to Christ, she asked me a question that I don’t feel comfortable with asking my pastor (I am praying for more courage), is oral sex permissible in a Christian marriage?”
Reply – Thanks for the question. Oral sex can be an issue like smoking marijuana – it is not explicitly identified in the Bible, so what is the Biblical understanding? Thankfully, it can also be answered the same way – what are the Biblical principles and truths that are directly related? Sex, by its very nature, involves our whole being (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.) – this is in part why it is reserved for the marriage context. When two people get married (“become one”) part of the “oneness” is the experience of sex, whether it is oral or not. There does not seem to be anything in the Bible that would indicate that oral sex would be any different than regular (for lack of a better word!) sex. Any area like this should be influenced by the Holy Spirit – if the people who are involved in an activity (in this case, you and your wife alone) sense that the Spirit (often through your conscience) is indicating that the activity is wrong, then you should stop until you sense that he is saying that the activity is okay. If neither of you have the legitimate sense that oral sex in your marriage is somehow inappropriate, then you should be free to enjoy each other’s body – this is one aspect of marriage that makes it so powerful (and so exclusive).